Many who have cPTSD struggle in differentiating between what’s safe and secure, versus what’s familiar and comfortable.

Trauma comes back as a Reaction, not a Memory.

https://medium.com/invisible-illness/the-reasons-people-with-complex-ptsd-self-isolate-846266b52a6d

“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort.”

– Bessel van der Kolk

It’s “Safe”. The biggest A-ha! is that by staying isolated we feel safe. It’s true. But, it becomes circular — we feel a sense of safety by disconnecting and isolating ourselves, so we continue doing it. In time, we begin upping the ante in how much we avoid. Instead of only going to the store during the off-hours, we now avoid the store altogether. Or call in to Amazon for delivery, and to leave it in the backyard. Or, we send a family member out for groceries.

Connection Is Too Exhausting. Connection may include any communication with friends, family or loved ones. Many times, when a person has experienced complicated grief or cPTSD, relationships become secondary to being alone. It can take too much energy trying to talk, trying to fake-happy, or in answering questions from loved ones. Small talk can become annoying, and when a person has experienced complicated grief, it’s like they can see through b.s., or just don’t want to expend the energy dealing with it. Some just realize the shift in their priorities where casual conversations and superficial connections just don’t cut it, anymore.

Some may lose touch with those in their lives, and may not see the possible dangers of continued self-isolation, which can include an increase in depressive symptoms, even suicidal ideation.

“Recovery cannot occur in isolation.”

— Dr. Judith Lewis Herman