borderline between what & what?

black and white.

realities – emotional – virtual – logical. i am in purgatory.

“Having the diagnosis was such a relief – it confirmed for me why from such a young age I have reacted, felt and thought the way I do.”

The worst parts of BPD for her are “dealing with rejection and simply seeing everything in black and white”. However, “when I’m happy I feel absolute elation – there’s no middle ground for me.”

The depth of pain in BPD frightens a lot of clinicians.

I first suspected something might be different about my mental health when I was 12-years-old. I was battling an eating disorder, on top of depression and anxiety (which is already more than most people at that age), but what really stood out to me was how extremely I reacted to certain situations when everyone else around me was so… unbothered.

Nobody understood why I reacted the way I did, instead branding me an ‘attention seeker’.

As this became more frequent, I questioned my ability, or rather my inability, to process emotions – why was I constantly on the brink of a breakdown over things that were, in reality, so minor?

Perhaps other teenagers would have told their parents about the my internal threat, or confided in a teacher with bullying – but that requires the ability to logically process emotions, which I simply couldn’t.

I now know that while I can’t change what’s happening, I can change how I react.