reconstruction
borderline between emotional & logical realities
chapter one let’s start in the middle. sometimes, when the wind blows it destroys. i’ve found the pain that simmers in my gut. the fear of waking at 2:00 am and not being able to save myself… or him again. death in sleep is expected. but let’s be logical, shall we? my reality is bleak.…
In Retrospectborderline between what & what?
black and white. realities – emotional – virtual – logical. i am in purgatory. https://youtu.be/mfM-DYz95ZU https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/body/health/a30327/living-with-borderline-personality-disorder/ “Having the diagnosis was such a relief – it confirmed for me why from such a young age I have reacted, felt and thought the way I do.” The worst parts of BPD for her are “dealing with rejection…
In Retrospectdear dad
dear dad, its been a while. do you feel me? the pain that i live? doesn’t it hurt you like it hurts me? wish you could have reached the nirvana you seek. mistakes, addictions, disorders and labels aside… i miss you. i would give almost anything to be with you. i never said goodbye. i…
In Retrospectaddiction + rebirth + legend
legend. i will be…. Take a look around me Taking pages from a magazine Been looking for the answers Ever since I was thirteen You know the truth can be a weapon To fight this world of ill intentions A new answer to the same question How many times will I learn the same lesson?…
In Retrospectaddiction + rebirth
just be fine. be happy… they say. 25 years of survival mood. He wants good – not evil. I want what is good, not evil. I want to choose and be in control. I want to be able to react and take THE moment and set the trauma aside. “Thanks trauma. For sharing. Not right…
In Retrospectyahweh
This article is about the national god of the Iron Age kingdoms of Israel and Judah. For the modern Jewish conception of Yahweh, see God in Judaism and God in Abrahamic religions. For the name “YHWH” and its vocalization, see Tetragrammaton. For other uses, see Yahweh (disambiguation). Iron Age II (1000–586 BCE) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yahweh Painting on a jar found at Kuntillet Ajrud,…
In Retrospect7 stages of grief
Going Through the Process and Back to Life When you lose someone you love, it’s hard to imagine life without them. Every loss comes with pain and adjustments we need to make. You are not alone, and knowing the 7 stages of grief might help you see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is…
In RetrospectcPTSD
Many who have cPTSD struggle in differentiating between what’s safe and secure, versus what’s familiar and comfortable. Trauma comes back as a Reaction, not a Memory. https://medium.com/invisible-illness/the-reasons-people-with-complex-ptsd-self-isolate-846266b52a6d “Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort.” – Bessel van der Kolk It’s “Safe”. The biggest A-ha! is that by staying isolated we feel safe.…
In Retrospectmusic to my ears
Every day I’ve got a smile where my frown goes A couple bodies in the garden where the grass grows I take ’em with me to the grave in a suitcase Maybe I could be a different human in a new place Oh I just wanna feel something, tell me where to go ‘Cause everybody…
In Retrospectgrief & the 7 stages to heal
grief How long does it take to go through the 7 stages of grief? How long do the seven stages of grief last? There is no set time for how long the process of grieving should last. For some people, the process may take several weeks. For others, it may be years. The 7 stages of grief…
In Retrospect